Brisbane, Australia
Early morning sunshine streamed through the white lace curtains of Tessa Scott's pocket-sized bedroom, but inside her heart, it rained. Nearly three months had passed since Tessa had formally ended her relationship with Michael Urbane, and although she firmly believed it had been the right thing to do, she still wasn’t over him.
Some days were easier than others, but the past two days had been especially hard. Yesterday was Michael's birthday. How tempted she’d been to call him and at least wish him ‘happy birthday’. Last year she’d surprised him with a day trip snorkelling on Moreton Island. They’d had so much fun – they always did, and the very memory of that wonderfully happy, sun filled day tore at her heartstrings. She shouldn’t let her mind go there, but she couldn’t help it, and the images of their day snorkelling amongst the coral and the myriads of brightly coloured fish played over and over in her mind.
Tessa buried her head in her pillow and sobbed silent tears. It hurt so badly. If only the accident at his work hadn’t happened. Or he hadn’t lied about the drugs.
She inhaled deeply as a sob escaped, sending a wave of sadness through her body. Why couldn’t she let go? Maybe she should give him another chance. But it would never be the same. She knew that. Their adventure had died, and she needed to accept it.
A soft knock on the door interrupted Tessa’s thoughts. The gentle but firm voice of her housemate, Stephanie, sounded on the other side.
“Tess, you need to get up.”
Tessa buried her head deeper in the pillows.
The door creaked open and Stephanie tip-toed in, placing a cup of spiced chai tea on Tessa's nightstand. The aromatic mixture of cardamom, cinnamon, ginger and other herbs filled the room, tickling Tessa’s nose. Steph knew the trick to getting her up. Tessa gave in and raised her head.
“What time is it?”
“Time to get up, that's what.” Dressed in casual work wear, Stephanie placed her hands on her hips and studied Tessa with an air of disapproval.
“Don't tell me you've been crying over Michael again.”
Tessa pulled herself up to a sitting position and took a sip of tea before meeting Stephanie’s gaze.
“Just thinking about him, that’s all. Yesterday was his birthday.”
Stephanie shook her head and let out a frustrated sigh.
“Tess, I know you’re grieving, but it's been months since you broke up. Come on. Get out of bed and get ready for work. Your boss called and said she’d place you on unpaid leave if you call in sick one more time. I was tempted to tell her you weren't even sick.”
“But I have been sick.” Tessa leaned back against her bedhead and gulped, forcing herself not to cry in front of Stephanie.
“Yes, I know.” Stephanie sat on the edge of Tessa's bed and took hold of her free hand. “It’s hard to let go, Tess, especially having been together for so long. But breaking up was the only option. You know that.”
“But maybe I was too hard on him.” Tessa grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. “Those drugs changed him, Steph. He wasn’t himself.”
“I know. But you did try to help him, Tess. For months. I watched you slowly being torn apart. The truth is, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.” Stephanie squeezed Tessa’s hand. “You can't help someone who lies to you about their addiction, even if it is to prescription drugs. And he stole from you. You need honesty in your relationship, and Michael wasn't willing to give that to you. You did the right thing, Tess. You’re better off without him.”
“It's just hard not knowing where he is or how he's doing.” Tessa glanced at the photo of Michael still sitting on her dresser. “It's hard being single again. I feel …” She paused and searched for the right word, as the ache in her chest grew. “Lonely.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” Stephanie leaned forward and hugged Tessa tightly. “I’m here for you, Tess. And so’s God, you know that. I understand you feel bad about this whole situation, but God’s with you, and He’ll help you get through it. And you never know what, or who, He might have in store for you!” Stephanie gently brushed the stray hair from Tessa’s face and gave her another hug.
Tessa nodded reluctantly. Steph was right. She’d made the right decision and knew that God would be with her and would help her through it, but translating that knowledge to her heart was another matter altogether.
“Come on kiddo, breakfast’s ready. Let’s get you up, dressed, and off to work.”
Tessa slid out of bed as Stephanie retreated to the kitchen. As she swallowed down the rest of her tea, Michael's photo caught her attention once again. Grey eyes with a hint of blue in a tanned, chiselled face stared out at her, tugging at her heartstrings. Tessa picked up the photo and fell back on her bed, gazing at the face that was so familiar. This torture had to end. She traced the outline of his face with her finger before hugging the photo to her chest. She closed her eyes and squeezed back her tears. This was it. The end.
“God, please help me get through this day.” Tessa’s body shuddered as she gulped down unbidden sobs. “I’m sorry it’s taken so long, God, but I’m ready to let go. Please help me.” Tears streamed down her face as she hugged the photo tightly one last time before opening the bottom drawer of her dresser and stuffing the photo under the pile of chunky knit sweaters she rarely wore.
Time to move on, and with God’s help, she would.
Chapter 2
A short while later, Tessa paused and took a deep breath before poking her head into her boss's office. She should have been more communicative with Fran, rather than just providing lame excuses for not being at work for the past two weeks. Too late now. Hopefully she’d be understanding.
Fran, a petite, hazel-eyed ginger, replaced the receiver and looked up in surprise at Tessa.
“Tessa, good to see you back at last.” She waved to Tessa to come in. “Are you better?”
“Yes, thank you.” Tessa smiled gratefully at Fran, who, without any more ado, picked up a chart from her desk and handed it to Tessa. Straight back into it… Tessa laughed to herself at the brusque, business-like manner Fran put on whenever she wanted to show who was boss.
“A rabbit, a bull terrier, and a cat all need surgery this morning, so I’m glad you’re back, Tessa. Not sure the new girl could handle three operations in a row.” Fran peered over the top of her funky green rimmed glasses. “What's that you're carrying?”
Tessa looked down at the skinny, shivering puppy tucked under her arm. How could she have forgotten about him?
“Poor little thing. Nearly ran him over in the parking lot. Must have been dumped.” She lifted him. “Only about three months old. How could anyone not want him?” The puppy’s sad little eyes pleaded with hers, and Tessa hugged him close.
Fran shook her head and sighed with exasperation.
“We get too many of these, Tessa. You know that.”
“I'll clean him up, and if no one claims him, I might just keep this one.” Tessa stroked his little head and gave a small laugh as the puppy licked her face.
“Well, that’s your decision. but now, off with you. There’s plenty to do.” Fran waved Tessa out of the office, and despite her brusque manner, her face had softened into a friendly grin. Fran had forgiven her.
Tessa finished operating on the three animals just before lunch. Later in the day she returned the pets to their owners with several pieces of post-surgery advice. The relief on each of their faces warmed her heart and reminded her just how much she loved this work.
At the end of the day as Tessa headed for the door, Fran called out. “Tess, Cathy and I are going for burgers. Would you like to join us?”
“No, but thanks for asking, Fran. I’m going to take this little puppy home and clean him up properly.”
Fran gave the pup a tickle behind his ears. “He is a cute one, I’ll give him that.” She looked over her glasses at Tessa. “It’s good to have you back, Tess.”
“Thanks, Fran. It’s good to be back.” Tessa’s voice faltered slightly as she gave her boss an appreciative smile.
As Tessa headed for her sky blue Hatchback in the parking lot across the street from the veterinary clinic, she had a new spring to her step. Yes, it was good to be back. Today had gone better than expected. Michael hadn't come to her mind once, and she'd even gained a new friend. Should have come back sooner.
Humming along to the praise music coming from the car radio, Tessa drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and glanced at the puppy in the passenger seat. Despite her intentions, she hadn’t had time to clean him at the clinic. His fur, matted and dirty, should clean to a reddish brown. He seemed more relaxed now as he tugged and chewed at the towel Tessa had placed on the seat, and she laughed at his antics.
“What are we going to call you? Let's see... Samson?” She studied him carefully as she sat at a red light. “No, you're not big enough for a name like that. Shadow? No. How about Sammy?” Why are all my names starting with an ‘s’? The lights changed and she accelerated quickly to keep up with the traffic. She glanced at him again. “Sparky? Yes, that’s it. Sparky suits you perfectly.”
Tessa laughed as the puppy gave a short, sharp bark as if voicing his agreement.
Arriving at the small, recently renovated worker’s cottage she shared with Stephanie, Tessa changed out of her work clothes and found an old basin for Sparky. She filled it with warm, soapy water and proceeded to clean him. She was drying him when Stephanie returned.
“Where are you, Tess?” The thud of Stephanie’s briefcase landing on the kitchen table reached Tessa in the bathroom.
“Bathroom. Come and look.”
Stephanie took the few steps from the kitchen to the bathroom and stopped in the doorway. Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open.
“A dog! What’s a dog doing in our bathroom, Tess?”
“He’s only a puppy, Steph. I found him this morning in the car park and hoped you wouldn’t mind.” Tessa gave the puppy another big rub and lifted him up. “I named him Sparky. He’s so cute. Look at him.” But Stephanie wasn’t amused.
“Don't worry about dinner, I ordered Chinese takeout.”
Stephanie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She let out a resigned sigh. “Hope it won’t be long, I'm starving.” Collapsing on the couch, she kicked off her shoes. Sparky immediately made a dash for them, dragging one across the hardwood floor. Stephanie pulled it out of his mouth before turning her attention back to Tessa.
“Did Fran chew you out?”
“No. Everyone was happy to see me, and I actually had a great day.” Tessa picked Sparky up and sat down beside Stephanie. “You were right – I should’ve gone back earlier.” She patted Sparky on the head as he tried to lick her hand. “How did your day go?”
“Had a pop quiz this morning at college. Piece of cake.” Stephanie sat up and pulled some brightly coloured files from her brief case and flicked through them. “But this afternoon at work…” She sighed heavily and slumped back on the couch.
“What’s up, Steph?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Tess.” She let out a slow breath. “I guess I’m just starting to question whether I’m cut out for this type of work or not. I got assigned some new cases last week. One's a teenage girl whose mother's an alcoholic. She’s got a younger brother, and they're both in and out of foster care. I’m supposed to check on them every day. I feel so sorry for them, but I don’t know what I can do to help them. They’re really messed up, and their current foster family has just about had enough.”
“It can't be that bad, Steph. You're so good at sorting out problems.” Tessa squeezed Stephanie’s hand. “You’ll be able to do something. I know you will.”
Stephanie shrugged wearily. “And there's this other lady, Gwen. She's terrified of getting cancer. I understand her concern a little, because one of her aunts and her only sister died of ovarian cancer, and just last month her mum died from breast cancer.” She looked up, her eyes heavy with concern.
“Now she wants to have a preventive double mastectomy and have her ovaries removed. The problem is, her husband doesn't want her to, and they’re arguing about it. They were referred to the centre to try to resolve their differences, but I’m at a loss as to how to help. It’s likely their marriage will break up soon if we can’t help them reach a resolution.”
“Can you discuss it with your manager? Surely he can help.” Tessa hated seeing Stephanie so torn up about her work. Steph’s problem was she cared too much.
Stephanie let out a dejected sigh. “I guess so. But he’ll think I’m useless if I do.”
“No, surely not. It’s a Christian Counselling Centre, for goodness sake. They should be supporting you as much as they can, especially while you’re still in training.”
“You’d think so, but they’re tough on newbies.”
Tessa glanced at the files, each bearing a bold red ‘Confidential’ stamp. They shouldn’t be discussing these cases. Her patients were different. Chatting about the animals she operated on would never get her in hot water, but Steph – her patients were people, and she could get into serious trouble if she got caught talking about them with anyone outside the Centre.
Steph would get defensive, but Tessa had to bring it up. Sparky wriggled and Tessa placed him on the floor before straightening back up. She hated confronting Steph like this, but she had no choice. She turned around and sat square on, facing Stephanie, tucking one leg under the other.
“Steph, should you be talking to me about your cases? I’d hate you to get into trouble.”
Stephanie fidgeted with her hands, but held Tessa’s gaze for a moment before lowering her eyes.
“Probably not, but I have to talk to someone or I'll go crazy.” She looked up, her eyes glistening.
“Oh Steph, it’s really getting to you, isn’t it?”
Stephanie nodded and turned her head away.
“Let me make you a cup of tea.” Tessa squeezed her friend’s shoulder before hopping off the couch.
“Thanks Tess.” Steph pulled a tissue from the box on the side table and blew her nose. “This is really stupid, Tess. I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to pray about it?”
Stephanie nodded. Her body shuddered when she sucked in a big breath.
Tessa sat back down again and placed an arm around her shoulder. “Lord God, I pray for Stephanie right now. You know she has a heart for people who are hurting and that she really wants to help them, so please, Lord God, give her wisdom and confidence when she meets with them, especially with those she’s mentioned just now. Let your love shine through her to them, and Lord, please work in each of their lives and give them a sense of hope that their problems might have a resolution. Thank you for Stephanie’s commitment to do your work and for her love and compassion for others. I pray that you’ll meet her needs, Lord God, and help her in all she does. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.”
Tessa hugged Stephanie, holding her tight. Tears streamed down Stephanie’s cheeks and she dabbed them with a tissue.
“Thank you, Tessa.” Stephanie sniffed and gave Tessa a watery smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d survive, Stephanie Trejo. You’re the strong one, remember?” Tessa gave her one more hug as a knock sounded on their door.
“That must be dinner. Good timing!” Tessa stood and reached the front door in two strides.
Stephanie continued talking about her work as they ate, like she needed to get it off her chest although now she was more composed. Tessa wasn’t completely happy about listening, but what else could she do after all the nonsense she’d put Stephanie through after her breakup with Michael? Steph had been so patient and had helped her so much, the least Tessa could do was listen, but as Steph told her about yet another case, she hoped and prayed she’d never run into any of these people at the store or café in town.
“This guy’s wife divorced him after running off with another man and leaving him to raise their teenage son on his own. I’m sure he’s suffering from depression, but he refuses to talk about it and instead gives me a hard time at every meeting. I don’t even know why he comes.” Stephanie sighed and rested her chin in her hands. “I have absolutely no idea how to get through to him.” She looked up, exhaling slowly. Her eyes had watered once again. “I have to do case studies on them all, and I don't even know where to begin, especially with Mr Williams. He’s so stiff, we don’t even use first names.”
Tessa squeezed Steph’s hand reassuringly. “I’m sure God will help you find a way. Hang in there, Steph.”
